'Coach' dies

On Wednesday, Mountain Home High School lost a pillar to the school when Coach Joy Memmelaar died from ovarian cancer.

Memmelaar was the coach of the Tiger varsity Tiger softball team, volleyball team and a physical education teacher instructor at the school.

She had been diagnosed with cancer on July 29, 2005, but continued to work and inspire students until her disease forced her from the classrooms and hallways she loved so much.

Memmelaar was born Dec. 12, 1959, in Goshen, N.Y. She graduated high school in 1978 and graduated from Boise State University in 1985.

From 1986-1989 Memmelaar began teaching physical education and coached for Cornwall High School in New York, then in August of 1990 began teaching at Mountain Home High School. Memmelar taught Health and Physical Education and coached volleyball and softball .

Memmelaar, who had coached for the Tigers for the last 17 years, won Coach of the Year honors in 1999 and 2000.

Memmelaar's best season as coach was last year when she led her Lady Tiger softball team to its first district title in 17 years, losing in the championship game of the State 4A Softball Tournament, to earn second place for the team.

Memmelaar was a strong advocate for the softball program and was able to gain approval from the school district for "fast pitch" softball to be played for their games.

Deb Shrum, high school health teacher and assistant volleyball coach said teaching was important to Memmelaar,

"She loved teaching PE. Her mom was a PE teacher, one of her uncles in New York is a PE teacher, and it was a source of pride for her to carry on the family tradition."

Memmelaar loved to travel. Every summer she would go down to New York and visit her family, in a home that has been a part of their family since the 1800s. Memmelar always spoke fondly of the "old house" and the land that surrounded it.

Memmelaar loved her cats, Chub and Kira. When Memmelaar realized she was sick, one of her main concerns, was what was going to happen to her cats.

Tilly Abbott, school counselor and assistant volleyball coach noted that "she lived in Boise, by her loyalty was for her team and this school." Abbott was also one of two school officials who helped hire Memmelaar.

Shrum recalled an amusing tale of when they met former NFL head coach Mike Ditka, at a coaching clinic in Seattle, where Ditka was the keynote speaker. Shrum, along with Memmelaar and Abbott, got the opportunity to meet and drink coffee with Ditka, but Shrum remembered how grumpy Memmelaar was because it was so early in the morning and Memmelaar was always grumpy in the morning.

Mountain Home Lady Tiger basketball coach Karen Kohring said that to Memmelaar the four keys of life were family, friends, teaching and coaching,

"When cancer reared it's ugly head, her toughness showed up. That's how she coached and that's how she lived her life," said Kohring.

Chris Asbury, assistant softball coach with Memmelaar, admired Memmelaar's efforts in not only softball but for equality in girl's sports. Asbury recalled a time when she visited Memmelaar in the hospital,

"It was cool to see her, when my daughter got to sit with her on the bed and hang out, it was like a calming, a real beautiful moment."

In her final days, Memmelar's players, fellow colleagues, friends and family came to visit.

As far as this past season, Asbury said, "I was very proud the girls got her through last season." Even while stricken with the disease, Memmelaar never missed a day of practice or any game. After chemotherapy every morning she would take the time, even in a weaken ed state and be there for her girls.

Tawni Downen and Liz Griffeath, senior players on Memmelaar's softball team, expressed their grief over the loss of their coach,

"We've grown up with her, she taught me everything I know and helped me with more than softball," said Downen.

"I grew a lot closer to her than I ever thought I would have," said Griffeath.

Griffeath wrote a story for the school paper about Memmelaar, the following are passages from the story:

"After a depressing loss to Skyview last season. Memm gave the team a rude awakening to what she was really going through. She told us about how her previous night had been spent in the hospital receiving medical treatment and having to come to school the next day exhausted to have to travel yet again to a softball game out in the cold.

"She told us how disappointed she was that after one downfall we all just dropped our heads and became discouraged. She wanted us to know strength and not give up, to work hard and understand that victory isn't handed to you."

Downen recalled a memorable quote of Memmelaar's that she would say before games, "We are all individual pieces of one pie, without a piece, we're not a whole."

On the first day of tryouts, Memmelaar referred to her team as a flock of seagulls, "If one person falls behind, everybody should pick up the slack."

To her peers, Memmelaar left a lasting impression, an individual so full of life, that even when she was diagnosed, she never felt sorry for herself. Memmelaar loved Idaho and everything Idaho had to offer, they said.

"She was not going to quit, not till the last minute or last second of her life," Shrum said of Memmelar's strong spirit.

Memorial services were held on Saturday, Nov. 10, at Mountain Home High School.