A guy's perspective of ABC's "The Bachelorette"

This season's contestant, Desiree Hartsock, looks like a poor man's Rachel Bilson.

I found myself watching a few minutes of "The Bachelorette" earlier tonight.

This wasn't my fault nor was it planned. I took a break from studying, went into the living room, sat down on the couch and it was on. The lady who is letting me stay at her house rent-free for the summer while I study for the Idaho State Bar was watching it and since I enjoy my current living arrangement, there wasn't much I could do about it.

It's amazing what people will do while there is a camera on them that they wouldn't do in real life. (Insert Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian joke here.) This show has a counterpart, "The Bachelor," so it's true for members of both sexes.

The premise of both shows is one man or woman "finds love" from one of the 25 contestants selected by the show's producers. Everyone lives together in one mansion where booze runs freely for the six-12 weeks it takes to film the show (there were various reports of how long each season takes to film.)

Before shooting starts, the contestants undergo STI testing and visit with a psychologist to ensure they are "normal." The first sign that a potential contestant may be crazy is that they've signed up to be one of 25 contestants on a dating show.

What kind of "normal" people have to resort to ABC to find them a date? (Match.com, anyone?)

Furthermore, what kind of "normal" people put up with what contestants put up with on that show from someone they are dating?

Imagine going on a first date with a guy and finding out that he's not only dating you, but he's dating 24 other girls. And he's like, "I might be interested in one of the 25 of you, but to help me decide, I have a series of events I want you each to participate in. Every couple days, I'll let one or more of you know that you didn't make the cut. The winner gets me! I want to see you compete over me. Show me you want me more than those other girls."

Girls would be like, "No way this is happening. Let me make this decision easy for you: I'm out of here." Then they'd go and find the remaining 24 girls and tell them what you were up to and they'd gang up on you.

That'd be an episode worth seeing. Talk about instant drama. That guy would be less comfortable than a guy on Maury's couch waiting to see whether he is the father. (YouTube this. You won't regret it. I couldn't find any family-friendly links to post or I would have.)

But you put a camera on those same girls, they are all about that guy. Not only will they put their entire lives on hold for weeks or months to try to "win" that guy's affection, they go through various contests and new experiences to do so.

When most people see someone they are interested in kissing multiple members of the opposite sex in front of them over the course of the same night, they would be like, "That's gross. I'm not looking to get mono, peace out." With a camera rolling, those same people are like, "I gotta get in the middle of that, interrupt it, get a kiss of my own and then get a rose later tonight. Oh, and I hope I get an alone date tonight with him/her."

On some of those shows, the Bachelor/ette may hook up with a different contestant multiple nights in a row. Do you really think you're going to find the love of your life in between hook ups on Monday and Wednesday nights?

On tonight's episode, some guy (I really have no desire to learn his name) was all, "I really hope tonight's the night I tell her I love her." Fortunately, I have no idea if he actually told her or not, but dude, you don't love her. You just think you do.

The contestants are locked up in a house during the taping of the show and must surrender their cell phones and other electronics. Outgoing phone calls are limited and monitored. They have a mic on them from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed.

Other than the mic, you know what that sounds a lot like? Prison. Imagine being in a prison for a few months and there's one girl also locked up. Or maybe she's a guard. Or a medic. Or the lunch lady. Within a short time, every clown in that prison is going to be like, hey girl," or "I think I love you! Come back to my bunk with me!"

There's a reason why most inmate couples break up after being released from prison. That reason is the same reason that these shows hardly ever work out for the "winning" couple.