The Anti-Gunner's Glossary

Posted Tuesday, November 11, 2008, at 8:35 AM

Gun Control is a very heated subject. You wouldn't THINK it should be, particularly in the face of America being sold out to the highest bidders by our elected "representatives", but it is.

This blog is intended for my fellow conservatives, who occasionally find themselves defending their rights to own and bear.

First of all, none of us need to explain ANYTHING. It's not some government-allowed "privilege"......it's our RIGHT, under our Constitution. If the libs don't like it, they can leave, and go be "subjects" under a king or a prime minister somewhere else.

I have a concealed carry permit, and keep whatever I'm packing under a jacket, so as not to alarm others who are nervous about guns----------sort of a public courtesy. Occasionally though, if the weather is warm, I OPENLY carry, which we ALL have the right to do (unless you're a convicted felon).

Once in awhile, I might go into a convenience store for a cup of coffee, and someone will approach me and ask, "Why do you carry a gun?"..................my answer is always the same........."Because I CAN!"

It's hard keep your composure around the liberals though, isn't it? None of them make any sense to us, but we need to remember that like men and women, like left-handed and right-handed people.................conservatives and liberals are "wired" vastly differently.

So if you're a gun owner, you need to know how they think, whenever you happen to get locked into a conversation with one of these knuckleheads. They have an indoctrinated philosophy about firearms that I like to refer to as the "Anti-Gunner's Glosaary." And it goes something like this:

ACLU: A wonderful agency dedicated to the protection of those persons the law would seek to put away. They also work aggressively against wicked homeowners who willingly shoot innocent intruders, without due legal process.

ARSENAL: A pair of 22's and 50 rounds of ammunition.

ASSAULT WEAPON: Anything from a slingshot to a bazooka.

BATF: Congress' personal crimefighters, committed to keeping America safe, by raiding and relieving honest citizens of their weapons, lest they be one day tempted to turn evil.

BRADY BILL: A tremendous crime deterrent. Criminals can no longer legally buy a gun, therefore his ability to obtain a weapon by any other means is completely eliminated.

CRIMINAL: A very misunderstood soul from a dysfunctional family who may have been yelled at as a child, so is not responsible for his actions. To help balance this tragedy, he is given more rights than the rest of us, and deservedly so.

FIREARMS EXPERT: A trained media spokesperson who shot a rabbit twenty years ago.

GUN CONFISCATION: A grand scenario in which all privately-owned weapons are rounded-up from information provided on the registration forms. These forms are filled out only by law abiding citizens at the time of purchase. This is done for their own good.

GUN CONTROL: (See "Registration and Confiscation")

GUN NUT: Anyone who has or wants more than one gun.

GUN REGISTRATION: A computerized method of tracking anyone foolish enough to participate. Registration does NOT apply to felons, however. After all, if he can't register to vote, why should he be forced to register a gun he isn't supposed to have?

HANDGUN: An instrument created purely for evil, capable of leaping up on its own and inflicting great harm, without any human assistance.

HUNTER: A depraved individual of the forest, who believes that controlling animal overpopulation through hunting, is some kind of alternative to letting them die naturally through eventual starvation.

LETHAL INJECTION: A comprimised method of execution, to insure that no convicted murderer be forced to suffer the brutality his victims did. It is still better to disarm the honest, as a crime deterrent.

MILITIA: Known as the United States Militia. This is a secretly funded government agency of some kind, and they are allowed to own guns because the government somehow sponsors them. This 200 year notion of a militia being made up of ordinary citizens is wrong. NRA propanganda.

NRA: An immense organization of gun nuts, bent on keeping their weapons, no matter what. They cling to the ancient and outmoded concept of making the CRIMINALS pay, instead of the public, as a means of crime prevention. This of course, is nonsense.

POLL: An unbiased vote, taken by at least 10 people in a typical newsroom, which naturally reflects the opinions of the entire nation.

SECOND AMENDMENT: This was obviously some sort of clerical error. Our founding fathers actually meant to keep guns OUT of the hands of the people. The British would have eventually returned to England on their own.

SKEET: A frail and defenseless bird, flung from a shack and blown to bits by shotguns in the hands of unsporting hunters trying to reaffirm their manhood. Disgraceful.

TARGET RIFLE: A single shot weapon, serving no competitive purpose. Those photos you see of Olympic shooters are fakes, more propaganda put out by the NRA.

WAITNG PERIOD: The length of time a convicted murderer must live at taxpayer expense. Usually 18 to 25 years.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ANTI-GUNNER'S PROCLAMATION....................

"We believe that over 90% of all firearms in this country are in honest hands. Honest people will ALWAYS obey the law no matter what, and they will turn them in when our government tells them to. This will get the majority of guns out of existence and the crime rate will drop like a lead balloon. The criminals too, will turn THEIRS in because it's against the law if they don't.

The police are only a phone call away. We liberals don't need guns, so YOU don't either."

DON'T LAUGH...........THESE IDIOTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS GARBAGE AND WOULD SELL US DOWN THE RIVER, BY VOTING-IN CANDIDATES WHO THINK AS THEY DO. KNOW WHERE YOUR CANDIDATES STAND AND VOTE!!

Folks.................I originally wrote this article about 12 years ago for Reader's Digest. They didn't print it of course.

A dozen years later now, we are seeing it coming to pass.

Comments

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Note: The nature of the Internet makes it impractical for our staff to review every comment. Please note that those who post comments on this website may do so using a screen name, which may or may not reflect a website user's actual name. Readers should be careful not to assign comments to real people who may have names similar to screen names. Refrain from obscenity in your comments, and to keep discussions civil, don't say anything in a way your grandmother would be ashamed to read.

I one hundred 100% agree with you right to lawfully own and carry any firearm you desire. It is a constitutional right which I firmly agree with. Your blanket description however and complete lack of respect for anyone who doesn't share every point of view that you do however is not only an embarresment to your politcal party but dangerous as well. As soon as we all think alike, no matter what our views, we will no longer live in the democracy we currently enjoy. The idea of our founding fathers was to create a government that would allow all the best minds and ideas to come together and debate their views, then find compromise for the better of the country. The way it is now, with narrow minded people like you and also on the liberal side is that no one will listen to each other. They are convincied that their ideas are %100 correct and are not subject to any sort of debate or modification. This my fellow American is what starts dangerous regimens which we should all fear.

-- Posted by obamaman on Tue, Nov 11, 2008, at 10:09 AM
Obamaman:

First of all, you do not even know Mike. So, to state that he is narrow minded is not really fair. He is one of the nicest, non-narrow minded people that I have ever met. He fought in a war along side all walks of life. While Mike may think that the borders need to be closed, it is not because of his dislike for a certain group of people. I have to agree with Mike on that. We have homeless people and millions of people with no health insurance. We have people in the U.S. that cannot get SS benefits that need them. We have vets that are homeless and jobless living on the streets yet we give people, who are not U.S. citizens the benefits of being a U.S. citizen. How is that in any way right? When things are fixed in the U.S. and our vets are not on the streets as well as all of the other people, then MAYBE extend the "benefits" that should only be afforded to U.S. citizens as we have paid into the "pool" for said benefits. Charity begins at home.

As far as Mike's views on weapons/guns, I agree with him. For years the folks in DC have been attempting to make more laws regarding guns. The fact is this. The criminals will always have guns no matter what our Government does. Criminals ALWAYS find ways to get what they are not supposed to have. So, the only thing more gun control will do is to take "honest" people's weapons (disarming people with no criminal history) and give those very same weapons to the gang members and criminals. The American people should have the right/freedom to protect themselves from the under world. I live in the country. It is not often that I see a police car in these parts. I can promise you that the day someone kicks my door in to steal a TV or the family jewels (gems, gold, etc. not the other) I will be ready with a gun or 2. It will be a very cold day that some "suit" knocks on my door and asks me to hand over my guns in the name of making America safer. BS!!

Mike, I am with you. My guns will be taken from my cold, dead, hands and that will be the only way. So, before anyone starts or thinks about throwing the "red neck" term around...I was raised in IL and know first hand what Obama is about. I am a 2 time college grad. In my line of work, I work with criminals (most who make the criminal way their way of life). I see the absolute worst cases. I will be darned if someone will EVER tell me that I cannot own a gun. I have been trained to use it, I am not afraid of it. If someone was harming someone else, I would not hesitate to use it.

Obamaman, perhaps give Obama a chance to fix it all before you assume that he is going to do so well. Promises made to get into office are normally very different from what these people (politicians) really do. So far, he is surrounding himself with people that mail dead fish to people who do not agree with his (Manuel's) view points. If that is your idea of being open minded, we are all in a lot of trouble. There is also the guy, a friend of Obama's, who if he does not agree with views...he blows things up in protest. You are what you surround yourself with. So, my point is this. You do not know Mike because if you did you would know that he is not narrow minded. He fought for his country with all walks of life. He has his opinions, which he has a right to, same as you. You do not have to agree with Mike's opinions as you have a right to your own, of course. However, it is not fair nor is it correct to judge Mike based on opinions without knowing the man. He would give you the shirt off his back. If you were being beat up in an alley, he would run to your aid. He is one of the "few" people that probably would help another person in trouble as opposed to walking away. He really is a good guy. He expresses his opinions just as you express yours. He does not have a gun to your head demanding you think like him. Opinions, that is all these things are. Everyone has one. I believe it is you Obamaman that may be narrow minded. If you were truly "open minded" you would never call someone else "narrow minded" because you would be able to see Mike's views as well as your own. Opinions...everyone has one and we do not always have to agree or think alike which is what Mike fought for.

Dangerous "regimens" or did you mean regime?

Thanks for you service Mike. To all of the other vets out there, thanks to you also for fighting for our rights and for keeping us safe. If it were not for all of you, we would all be forced to be "narrow minded" and without our own thoughts/opinions. Thank you to all of you!

-- Posted by OpinionMissy on Tue, Nov 11, 2008, at 11:53 AM
are you kidding me Missy?! Did you read my response or did you just look at my screen name?

I agree with his stance on guns, I never once mentioned border control, illegal aliens, health insurance, vetrans rights and I never have said anywhere at anytime that Obama is going to fix everything,he may very well screw it up worse we will have to wait and see. "He expresses his opinions just as you express yours." I even said there are too many narrow mined people in both political parties, how much more open mined do I have to get? How can you judge me?! Just by my small opinion on what I believe to be a fundamental fault in how the two party system works and how people pick their sides YOU prematurely judged me. You made my point for me. You see my screen name then respond with blinders on without really reading the words i wrote. I agree with everything you said, but all I am saying that a mind has to be willing to change from time to time or a country will never grow or prosper . I never attacked Mike or drew any kind of conclusions to the kind of person he might be. Are you sure you can say the same when you where writing about me? Read what I said again and then read your response.I love my country's vetrans and support everything they do.

-- Posted by obamaman on Tue, Nov 11, 2008, at 12:55 PM
Obamaman:

I read your post beyond your screen name. Maybe take your blinders off and see the big picture. I agree with many of your points as well. It would be nice if the people elected to represent us were more open minded. That would solve some problems right there. Have a good night Obamaman. Thought and debate is good...it keeps the mind sharp.

-- Posted by OpinionMissy on Tue, Nov 11, 2008, at 8:41 PM
Mike, thank you so much for the time invested in this blog. I remember back when you had just starting writing letters to the editor. I ran into you at WalMart and thanked you for being brave enough to state your opinions openly, knowing full well that some were reading them and wanting to place their hands firmly around your neck!

As much as I would love to say that I have high hopes for our new Pres-elect....it just wouldn't be the truth. It's going to be a long 4 years and it won't be over soon enough for me.

-- Posted by outtathere on Wed, Nov 12, 2008, at 9:38 AM
"..constitutional right.." there is no such thing as a constitutional right. Stop calling the USA a "..democracy.." We are a Republic. The so called "..constitutional right.." is there with or without a constitution. they are [inalienable, natural born, god given] rights. It is not a privilege which can be taken away.

-- Posted by Mr R on Wed, Nov 12, 2008, at 1:20 PM
You are right. They can but only if you let them. If you don't know your rights and/or the difference between a right and privileges, then how can you defend them. Do you think if everyone with a firearm during Katrina refused to let their fireatm be taken away, the police would have kept on taking peoples firearms? After 1 or 2 altercation they would have stopped. It wouldn't be worth it to them. but if everyone goes easy, then why not.

-- Posted by Mr R on Wed, Nov 12, 2008, at 4:42 PM
What I'm trying to say is we need to start educating our fellow citizens on the US Constitution and our republic. We need to stop using incorrect words/phrases.

democracy - We are a republic.

constitutional rights - We get NO rights from the US Constitution, it basicly tells goverment what it can and can't do.

Assault Rifle - Assault is a violent physical or verbal attack. My AR can't do that. I can with my AR, my hands, a hammer, a car, a pencil. We would never say Assault Pencil or Assault Car. He was driving an evil assault car, that's why he got into an accident.

These phrases are to help bring emotions into the conversation to help the losing side.

-- Posted by Mr R on Wed, Nov 12, 2008, at 5:36 PM

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