The Gas Passer

How about a break from all of this political gaggle (even if it's just a little break) Perhaps even a "wind break."

And so, boys and girls...........Once upon a time, there was a fellow who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them. Of course, he wasn't always safe to be around after a bowl or two, but as he lived by himself, he'd gotten used to his own stink and stench.

One day in early spring. he met the girl of his dreams, and they fell in love shortly thereafter. She was such a sweet little thing however, he knew she'd never tolerate the gas, and so, he gave up the beans and they were married.

After they'd been married about three months, she called him at work to tell him that she was planning a surprise for him, and wouldn't be able to pick him up that afternoon. As he only worked about a mile from their house, and it was a beautiful summer day, he told her it was ok....he'd just walk home that day.

Shortly after he left the plant, he caught the familiar smell of baked beans, coming from the cafe across the street. Temptation won out, so he walked in and had his fill...four bowls worth.

Starting home, he could feel the pressure building, but figured a mile or so walk to his home would clear his system. Didn't take long either! A little "rip!" here and an occasional "Fr-r-r-a-a-a-p!" there, as he went along. By the time he got to the house, he thought he'd pretty much "cleared" himself.

His lovely young bride met him at the front door with a kiss and a blindfold. She quickly tied it around his head and led him into the dining room, sitting him down in his usual chair. Just then the phone rang. "I'll be right back!" she said....."Now DON'T peek!"..By this time, his stomach was starting to rumble again. The phone was two rooms away, and she'd surely be on it at least a minute or two, so he seized the opportunity!

Rolling over on his left cheek, he cut one loose, long and loud. Quickly shifting his weight onto the other cheek, he broke wind again, another prize winner, filling the air with the great mist! Hearing his wife's phone conversation reaching its conclusion, he stood halfway up in his chair, bent his knees slightly and with one mighty, final blast, he nearly filled his pants, but at least got the worst of the gas out of his system.

He sat back down as if nothing had happened, felt around for his napkin, and was fiddling with a fork when his wife came back in. She put her hands on his shoulders and asked if he had peeked. When he assured her he had not, she removed the blindfold, and there was his surprise.......twelve dinner guests politely seated around the table!

.......now..............................

I'm not real sure if there's a moral to this story, but I do recall something the Chinese philosopher Confucius once said............"Man who pass gas in church, sit in own pew."