Lieutenants Get No Respect at All

Some of the funniest times of my life, occurred when I was on active duty in the service.

Back in the late 70's, Major Comeaux was one of our F-111 FCF (Functional Check Flight) pilots. Great guy, everybody liked him.

One of his functions, besides checking out aircraft that had been out of commission for awhile, was to check out new aircrew members, and Lieutenants were always "fair game."

I was a Crew Chief in the old Yellow Section 1978/1979 circa, when Comeaux and this young Lt. came out to fly my plane one morning. As the "new guy" began his "walk-around.", the Major walked over to me and told me to park him at "final chock" with the left nose wheel valve stem at the 6 O'Clock position, when they taxiied back in after the flight.

I thought the request was a little strange, but I assured him I would.

I strapped them in, Major Comeaux cranked it up and about 25 minutes later, they were gone. When they landed a couple of hours later, I marshalled them back in onto my parking spot, slowing them down to what we called "first chock." Aircraft is stopped, wheel chocks positioned under the main tires, and all tires are checked for cuts, scuffing, or anything imperfections thaey might have picked up out on the runway. Then..........the chocks are pulled and the aircraft is martialled forward another foot or so, to check the rest of the tire that you couldn't see at "first chock." This short little roll up was known as "Final Chock."

Now..........the Major had wanted that left nose wheel valve stem resting at the 6 O'clock position at final chock. Remembering that, I brought him in slowly, and signalled him to STOP when I saw that valve stem at 12 O'clock high on the nose wheel. This was "first chock." I chocked the mains, checked all tires, pulled the chocks back out and slowly marshalled him forward about a foot or so.

As the valve stem approached the 6 O'clock position, I signalled "STOP" again, threw the chocks under the mains again, and we shut down. THIS was FINAL CHOCK.

When they climbed out, the young Lieutenant (who rode in the right seat), zipped down the ladder, walked under the nose, and gazed at that left nose wheel in amazement, and muttered faintly within earshot......."Wow.......6 O'clock AGAIN!" Major Comeaux climbed down from the left side and told the Lieutenant, "That's another beer you owe me!"

"How do you do that everytime, sir?" he asked Comeaux.

"Experience, son.....you just have to have a FEEL for the airplane," he replied as he shot me a quick wink and grin.

So THAT'S what that "special stop" was about!!

And, was that "ANOTHER beer?" I often wondered how many beers that rookie fessed up before he realized the Major was getting the Crew Chiefs to "spot park" for him!

I worked on F-111's for about 14 years, a miserable piece of machinery that never provided too many warm moments, so incidents like this were always enjoyed!