"The Gas Passer"

I think I wrote this one in my "first blog career", but a good story is worth repeating, especially for those who never heard it the first time around...................so...............

Once there was a fellow who had a passion for baked beans. He loved them. Of course, he wasn't always safe to be around after a bowl or two, but as he lived by himself, he'd gotten used to his own stink and stench, and wasn't "offending" anybody.

One day in the early spring, he met the girl of his dreams, and they eventually fell in love. She was such a sweet little thing however, he knew she'd never be able to tolerate the gas, and so;, he gave up the beans and they were married.

After they had been married about 3 months, she called him at work to tell him that she was planning a surprise for him and wouldn't be able to pick him up from his job that afternoon. As he only lived a couple of miles from work, and it was a beautiful summer day, he told her it was alright, he'd just WALK home after work.

But as he walked out of the plant that afternoon, he caught the familiar aroma of baked beans coming from the cafe across the street. Temptation was too much, and he yielded to it, walked in, sat down and had his fill---4 bowls worth.

Starting home, he could already feel the pressure building up a bit, but figured a 2-mile walk to his home would give him ample time to "clear his system." Didn't take too long either.....a little "rip" here, and a little "fr-r-r-r-ra-a-a-ap!" there, as he went along. By the time he got to the house, he thought he'd pretty much "exhausted" himself.

His lovely young wife met him at the door with a kiss and a blindfold. She quickly tied it around his head, led him into the dining room and sat him down in his usual chair. Just then, the phone rang. "I'll be right back" she said......"Now DON'T PEEK!"

His stomach was starting to rumble again. The phone was 2 rooms away, and she'd be on the phone at least a minute or two, so he seized the opportunity by the horns!

Rolling over on his left "cheek" he cut one loose, long and loud. Quickly shifting his weight onto the other "cheek" he broke wind again, in "championship form", filling the air with the great green mist!. Hearing his wife's telephone conversation coming to a close, he stood halfway up in his chair, bent his knees slightly, and with one final, mighty blast, he nealy filled his pants! But he DID pretty much get the worst of it out of his system.

He eased back down into his chair as if nothing had happened, felt around for his napkin, and was fiddling with his fork when his wife walked back in. She put her hands on his shoulders and asked if he had peeked. When he assured her he had not, she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise..........twelve dinner guests, politely seated around the dining room table!

Author unknown