"Over-sexed, Over-paid and Over HERE!"
THAT certainly seemed to be the attitude of a LOT of Brits toward us "Yanks", during my 3-year tour at Lakenheath, 1979 to 1982. The tour looked good "on paper", because we'd be in an overseas country where everyone spoke the same language. In real life, it would prove to be the most miserable assignment in my entire 22-year military career, bar NONE.
I remember three positive things happening.......our sponsor had a small rental house reserved for us just outside the gate when we arrived in July of '79. Ronald Reagan was elected President in November of '80, and my daughter was born in September of '81.
The rest of it SUCKED! (my apologies, but there is no other way to accurately PUT that!)
Common "bloke" belief seemed to be that all Americans were over-spoiled and filthy rich, and if you couldn't get a house on-base (and most COULDN'T), you'd get charged a "bit more" OUTSIDE the gate, than the place was worth.
Wife was active duty, and would be working in Data Automation, same as she did at Mountain Home. I was being assigned to Blue Section, within the realm of the 48th OMS, and while I was checking into the squadron, I heard the same un-nerving "welcome" that so many OTHERS had........
Word-for-word---------"If you leave here with the same number of stripes you GOT here with, it's the same as a PROMOTION!"
WHAT?????
Squadron headquarters was referred to as the "Gestapo", and the commander was a Lt. Col. who, to date, had tossed 43 airman out of the service, TWELVE in one month! It was rumored that he had a "pre-printed Letter of Reprimand" for every maintenance man in the squadron, because he KNEW that sooner or later, you'd be sent to HIM for some "infraction."
He also had this well-known pre-conceived notion that if you parted your hair in the middle......drank grape soda......and wore sunglasses, you were automatically a "doper."
I'm not making any of this up! He drove a light blue Volkswagen Beetle that the troops had set FIRE to, TWICE! STILL, he never "got the hint." The slightest write-up from Q.A. could very well get you an appointment with "Der Fuhrer."............welcome to Lakenheath..........
My aircraft would be "F" model tail number 370, nowhere to be found on the parking ramp. It was in Hangar Six..........up on jacks, wheels gone, no engines, no cockpit crew seats, half of the panels missing, a LOT of stuff missing. It had been a "Hangar Queen" and had been robbed for parts for about 4 months before I got there.
The 781 maintenance forms looked like a Los Angeles phone book, and it was tough to determine what had been legally "cannibalized", and what was just STOLEN, without ever being written-up. It was virtually a skeleton that had once been an F-111.
"Swell."
Tool boxes were sorely lacking of things you really needed, the weather was damp and gloomy almost DAILY, the hours were long, spare parts were difficult to get, the Brits weren't overjoyed at our presence, the squadron commander was a tyrant, Q.A. was out to make a name for itself, the Wing Commander was out to make General, the ramp was always cold and dreary...........
And I was looking at three years of this.
Part of your intital Lakenheath-issued gear, were the chemical suits & gas masks, for the many week-long "alerts" on that base. We had 27 week-long alerts in the 36 months I was there, and you'd be in your gas masks for HOURS at a time!
(Just 4 miles away at Mildenhall AFB, they lived in a whole different world). It was a MAC Base (transportation), and they rarely EVER had an alert. (same stripes---same pay as YOU............different "Air Force."
But Lakenheath was a "General-making base", and as each Wing Commander got his "first-star" and moved on.....the NEXT full bird Colonel taking over, felt he had to prove even MORE than the last guy........MORE sorties and higher stats than the last guy, no matter WHAT it took............and with airplanes that were never designed to be quick-turn fighter planes. Life out on THAT flightline was pure drudgery.
I was being pushed to get 370 back together and back in the air. Easier said than done, because to get issued a LOT of those parts, you had to have the OLD ones to turn IN-----and that airplane had been a victim of "midnight supply" for the past 4 months before I ever got there!
Well, you can "take the kid out of the neighborhood, but you can't take the neighborhood out of the kid." On old Potrero Hill, it had been bicycles and hubcaps........it would be a little tougher HERE!
Robbing other planes didn't always work out. Even if you weren't caught, you couldn't always be sure that what you "procured" would fit YOUR airplane. Over the many years and flying hours, different planes go through different speeds and torgue, sometimes twisting an airframe ever-so-slightly, so that a panel or flap on tail # 364, might not quite line-up on #365.
I often had to work well beyond my daytime shift, (often 12-hour shifts to begin with), and work in the more subdued light of swingshift to accumulate what I needed................now don't get me wrong.........I didn't have to steal EVERYTHING that was missing, but it sure SEEMED like it sometimes!
I eventually got it back in the rotation, and it was flying two to three times a week, and the "upper crust" got off my back.
We did a lot of engine changes on the "F" model. The TF30-P100's delivered considerably more thrust than the smaller P-3's in the "A" Models at Mountain Home. The "F" model was a "hot rod" and the pilots loved to get out there and try to shove the throttles through the quadrants! They'd burn out flame holders and screech liners so often, you almost wished the engine panels had ZIPPERS instead of screws!
Rain. It rained a LOT there, and when it didn't, there was ground fog. Seems like you were never really able to stay warm or dry out there. There was just nothing quite like replacing stuff out there in the cold rain, with fuel leaks and hydraulic fluid dripping on you at the same time!
Lakenheath was a long, long grind, and in the years that followed, I've occasionally chuckled and told people that I worked five years there, in a three year period! I had a couple of run-ins with the "Gestapo", (nothing involving me personally), and it's not even worth mentioning here.
My wife enjoyed Lakenheath to a fair degree. Not working on or near the flightline, she had better hours, weekends off and could partake in some of the Base Rec Center tours of London and even Paris.
An off-base "excursion" for ME, was a six mile drive into the town of Mildenhall for Fish & Chips. Then back home to try to catch up on much-needed sleep. You were always cold, always tired, and the calendar never changed fast enough for you. Never.
But there WAS a sense of pride, coming down the stretch, and a few "strange characters" as well, to throw a LITTLE "sunlight" on this DAMP RAMP!
- -- Posted by Georgia on Wed, Mar 2, 2011, at 5:07 PM
- -- Posted by Georgia on Thu, Mar 3, 2011, at 7:45 AM
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