The Bazookaman Meets The Aardvark

Sounds like the title of one of those old Japanese Sci-Fi flicks from the 60's, don't it?

We were just taught the "basics" at Shepard. There were about 20 of us in my particular class, and MOST were going to different airplanes. For ME, the real OJT (On the Job Training) would come when I got back to the Field Training Detachment (FTD) here at Mountain Home.

After FTD HERE, I was assigned to Yellow Section. F-111A, tail # 66-048 would be needing a new Crew Chief in about a month, because the old crew Chief, John Determan was leaving the Air Force to pursue a civilian career, so I just worked in behind him, learning the airplane, "hands-on." I had a lot to learn in a short amount of time.

You had to be a Sergeant or ABOVE to be a Crew Chief, and most Crew Chiefs had been ASSISTANT Crew Chiefs as they worked their way up the "stripe ladder" of Airman 1st Class and Senior Airman. They had generally worked on the aircraft a couple of YEARS before being trusted to have their own plane. As a Staff Sergeant cross-trainee, I already had the rank for the job. I did NOT have the "hands-on" time yet, but I was being given the airplane ANYWAY in less than a month!

We had a really good crew out there in Yellow, though, and Sgt. Al Mutko, had become a friend of mine and a hunting buddy. He was a SEASONED F-111 Crew Chief and was always within reach if I ran into something I wasn't sure about. So was Pat Sheppo and Carl Spence.

"048" was in the paint barn when Determan left, and when it came back to the ramp, there were the names, painted just under the leftside canopy...........

Plt: Maj Wendrock

C/C: SSgt Bradbury

Actually, I think Major Wendrock only flew my airplane twice, maybe. The squadron pilots never really had their "own personal airplanes", but it was protocol to make sure every pilot had his name on one of them.

But as the CREW CHIEF.........that airplane belonged to YOU, and you were responsible for every inch of it, OFF the ground as well as ON. Two lives were in your hands every time it flew, and that weighed on my mind ESPECIALLY when I was still in the "probation stage." Whenever you fixed something and signed it off----------it had BETTER BE RIGHT!

Something goes wrong at 50,000 feet, they can't just pull off onto the nearest cloud and stick their thumbs out for help. A GOOD thorough pre-flight ran about four hours, including servicing, and you always prayed that you didn't MISS the slightest "nuance", which wasn't hard to do, considering the hours.

And the hours were LONG in the F-111 world. You came in 6 hours prior to take-off to start the preflight, which might put you in there on a Monday morning around 0200, for an 0800 go.

Your plane might be scheduled for it's NEXT flight on Wednesday night around 1800, which would have YOU coming in around noon.

Then a NOON flight on Friday......so you were coming in around 0600...........

Just TRY to adjust your "sleep schedule" around THAT!

On an average, your bird would fly about twice a week......the other 3 days (plus weekends if necessary), for ground maintenance, and the Aardvark (F-111) was NOT the easiest bird to keep operationally ready. Air Force average-------"A" model through "F" model, was 44.7 hours of ground maintenance for every hour of flight! HORRENDOUS!

The avionics were always a problem and the aircrews would often bring them back with a lot of write-ups, usually enough to keep the airplane from making a second sortie on that same afternoon. There were hydraulic leaks, fuel leaks, radio problems.

The Terrain Following Radar (TFR) was a STEADY concern. When working properly, a pilot could adjust it clear down to 200 feet, take his hands off the stick, and the radar would scan ahead and send impulses to the flight control computers, that would automatically fly the plane OVER any hills or mountains ahead, maintaining that same low altitude as it went up & over, then down again.

It didn't always work as advertised, though, and there have been a few "smoking holes" out there in Elmore & Owyhee Counties to prove it. In the daytime, if the system started to fail, and the "automatic pull-up" wasn't working, the pilot could always grab the stick and fly it MANUALLY over the "obstacle"..........if he saw it in time.

But when they flew at night, the aircrew could see NOTHING out there, and had to totally trust the system. I could never imagine being a pilot, buzzing along out there in the middle of the night at 600 mph or so-----hands off the stick, eyes glued to the RADAR in case of sudden trouble, because you can't see out of the canopies! Screw THAT!

Man..........if there's anyone out there that doesn't think those pilots EARNED their pay............think again!

The F-111 was a classic example of "getting what you pay for" when you contract with the lowest bidder."

They seemed to always be down for this, or down for that. To add to the woes, the Air Force had not contracted with General Dynamics to supply enough spare parts, which started coming back to bite us a dozen years later. When the "Depot" at McClellan (in California) couldn't come up with something, a "resourceful" crew chief might have to resort to a little "midnight procurement."

There were three basic "unwritten rules" in that area.

1. Never steal parts off another "yellow tail"

2. When "procuring" parts from another section's airplane, HANGER QUEENS ONLY....never from something on their RAMP that might have to fly the next day.

3. If you get caught, you're on your own. Nobody back here knows anything about it!

Sometimes, some "Hanger Queen" would be stripped down to a "skeleton"............but when you have to fly, and the parts aren't there, what else do you do?

Of course, the old "kid from Potrero Hill" would never resort to anything like that! (it sure got DARK out there when the sun went down!)

Heading our entire operation down there on the east end that was Yellow Section at the time, was Chief Jerry Ash, and I want to tell you about a REAL CHIEF.

As far as I have EVER been concerned, making E-9, does NOT automatically make one a "CHIEF." Jerry Ash (deceased now), was a REAL CHIEF!

He'd come out on the ramp, visit you at your airplane.....not to micro-manage......but to see if all was ok, and if you were getting the tools & equipment support you needed. He would CHEW YOUR BUTT if you screwed up someplace, but he would NOT let anyone else come out there and screw with any of us. WE in Yellow Section were known "slangly" all over that flightline as "Jerry's Kids."

Jerry Ash would walk up to the devil HIMSELF and demand a light! If he thought Wing Headquarters was coming down with some kind of crap that would be bad for us troops, he would not hesitate going nose-to-nose with the Wing Commander himself, if need be. He feared NOBODY. There's an old adage that's been around forever, to the tune of-----"It takes an act of congress to bust a Chief."

Now, I don't know if that's actually true, but Ash was never afraid to PUSH that issue. He HATED wimpy E-9's who were afraid to "make waves." with the brass, and would sometimes come back from the morning standup round-table meetings with the DCM, feeling like he was all alone, among the "bay of "boot-lickers."

I personally saw him run a Major off of our ramp one afternoon, and rip into his butt like he was an Airman! It was on OUR behalf, and the issue was SETTLED right there on the spot. YOU got something to complain about........you took it up with the CHIEF!...........not his troops.

By the time I finally retired from active duty in 1988, my Air Force career had spanned 19 years, and 3 overseas assignments.......4 tours HERE and 1 at McChord. In ALL THAT TIME, I had worked for over 20 E-9's.

But only THREE, who I could actually call a CHIEF!

Chailly Rhodes.............San Vito, Italy-----1975/76

Jerry Ash............Mountain Home-----1978/79

Homer Helmick..........Lakenheath, England----1979/80/81/82

It was really getting "political" at the time I retired, and I understand it's even worse today. I've seen so many "E-9's"......shifting side-to-side, "nervous in the service" as we used to say. Caving in to every whim of the brass, and getting their names in the "right places", as if their next promotion was at stake.

And there IS none. The rank of E-10 does NOT exist and never has. After E-9, that's all there is, but I've SEEN sections get sold out for "imagined glory" and senseless politicking. But there they WERE.......sitting at the great long tables in the conference rooms, coffee cups in front of them, looking like 2-legged ZEBRAS with all the stripes. Smiling, nodding, agreeing to every little quip the "old man" makes, sometimes putting IMPOSSIBLE and UNREASONABLE workloads on their troops.

"Don't make waves" We need to keep impressing everybody in case the Air Force ever DOES create the "E-10" rating!

Three Chiefs in NINETEEN years. Hard to believe.

When Jerry Ash passed away a few years ago, I wrote up sort of a "Eulogy" in the Mountain Home paper. One of the things I remember saying, was that, while Blue, Green & Red Sections were all doing the "Dog & Pony show of "Armor-alling" tires, painting wheels, hanging new streamers, polishing and painting everything that wasn't nailed down, Jerry refused to subscribe to that sort of time waste.

He used to growl that we were there to "fly airplanes and drop bombs", not take part in some "pimp show!"

I LOVED working for Jerry Ash.

CHIEF Jerry Ash.

He was truly the "R.E. Ermly" of the Air Force

Rest in Peace, CHIEF!