Indiana prisoners have it made

There are a lot of things on my life's to-do list I want to accomplish in my lifetime. Towards the top of my things-I-do-not-want-to-do list is serving in time in prison (its number two, right behind not watching my children grow up).

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't last very long in prison. Not only am I a little guy, I'm a little guy with a big mouth. One of two things, or both, would happen to me in prison: this or I'll be confused with bag of chips.

However, if I should ever have to go to prison, (free food, free rent, get to sleep and write all day--may not be the worst thing ever, other than shower time), I'm going to either request to be sent to a prison in Indiana or make it a point to only break laws in Indiana.

The good thing about prisons in Indiana is that not only does it seem to be pretty easy to escape from the state's prisons, but they don't spend a lot of time looking for prisoners once they do escape. This is good news for Indiana's prisoner population, but not so good news for people who don't like to get murdered or raped who live near prisons.

On Sunday afternoon, Lance Battreal, Mark Booher and Charles Smith, escaped from a prison in Michigan City.

One of the men, 48-year-old Smith, who is on year 10 of a 95-year sentence for murder, was captured Monday. It's unfortunate for Smith, had he gone another 12 hours before getting spotted by a police officer, he could be hiding out in a cheap motel room right plotting his next move. Instead, he's back in custody and is most likely going to have to serve additional years behind bars for his short taste of freedom after he completes his current 95-year sentence.

The other two men are lucky. Less than 36 hours after their escape, the Indiana State Police called off the search for the escaped convicts Monday evening.

Why?

"We don't know where to look," Indiana Department of Correction spokesman John Schrader said in a CNN interview Tuesday.

Yep, if you escape from an Indiana state prison, all you have to do is hide out for about 36 hours and they will stop looking for you if they don't know where you are by then.

Schrader said officials have gone back to relying on leads, possible sightings and public tips in the investigation, as opposed to their "just get lucky" method they used to catch Smith. He was spotted by a police officer on Chicago mayor Richard Daley's security staff in Grand Beach, Michigan. Grand Beach is about eight miles away from the prison and Daley keeps a vacation home there.

Indiana residents no doubt feel safer knowing their prisons are so close to their state's border, that way when these things happen, scary, dangerous convicts flee their state into another state. And in Indiana, three men escaping from prison seems to be a common occurrence. On March 20, three inmates escaped from Indiana's Branchville Correctional Facility. Branchville is about 60 miles north of Kentucky, which means Kentuckians get to worry about drug dealers, burglars and robbers.

After these three escaped, they beat three brothers with clubs in Kentucky then stole their money, guns and truck. They were captured in Nebraska six days later.

No word on how long Indiana State Police looked for these guys before giving up. Though, it does make sense for the ISP to give up relatively quickly. Escaped inmates from Indiana seem to like going to nearby states. Indiana might be on to something here by putting their prisons so close to state boarders.

Indiana officials caught a break in April 2008 when only two men escaped from the same prison.

There's a reason why they have prisons: to separate dangerous, scary criminals from the rest of the population. Since Indiana isn't too worried about keeping their convicts separated from the rest of the population in various parts of this country, we should all do our part to assist them and keep everyone safe.

If you should come across of the men above, or spot them hiding behind a Dumpster in some alley or parking lot, don't try to be a hero. Notify local law enforcement officials immediately.

Battreal, the guy on the left, was sentenced in 1998 to 50 years for rape, criminal confinement and stalking. Booher, the one in the middle, was sentenced in 1999 to 65 years for murder and robbery.